“I think I suffer from social anxiety” is a phrase we frequently hear in the clinic. When we try to delve deeper by asking, “What makes you think you have social anxiety?” the answers often don’t include the diagnostic criteria for the disorder. What we hear is:
“I don’t have many friends.”
“I don’t like going to events because they drain my energy.”
“I prefer staying at home.”
If asked whether this is due to their anxiety, fear of making a mistake in front of others, or being judged negatively, the usual response is, “No, I just don’t feel like it.”
What they are describing are traits of introverts, a personality type that describes individuals who enjoy solitude, have a small social network, and recharge by spending time alone, as time spent in large groups is less enjoyable for them.
to them.
When we look at the definition of introversion, we can see how it superficially resembles social anxiety. But how can we distinguish between the two?
I read a quote that succinctly and understandably describes the difference:
“Introversion is your way of dealing with life, while social anxiety is an obstacle in your path.”
This means that if an introvert has to attend a large meeting at work, they will go and might even enjoy it. In contrast, someone with social anxiety who might use avoidance to escape the meeting, which in turn could harm their career.
Another example: if both a person with social anxiety and an introvert are invited to an event, the socially anxious person will spend their time worrying about being criticized or judged negatively by others, and may end up leaving early.
An introvert might also leave early, but they won’t spend the night criticizing themselves or replaying their interactions with others and how they should have been. Instead, they will spend the night recharging their social battery by engaging in their favorite activities at home.
Thus, we are faced with the question: why do we confuse the two?
One reason might be that most cultures prefer extroverted personality traits (the opposite of introversion, where individuals prefer to socialize a lot and have a wide social network).
This preference has led introverts to assume they need to behave more openly to be accepted by others, as if we’re saying you must either be extroverted or it means you have social anxiety. Furthermore, if introverts are not aware of their personality traits, they might interpret their inclination for solitude and preference for interacting with close people as social anxiety, especially if those around them criticize them for having limited social relationships. It’s important to consider that solitude and calmness are a natural lifestyle, not a psychological disorder.
Finally, individuals thrive in various ways. If we assume that certain traits are the optimal qualities, we deprive other traits of development. If we assume that extroversion is the way one should be, we will miss out on writers, researchers, and any benefits that introverted personalities might provide us.
Therefore, there is a need to make individuals understand their personality traits so they can thrive in their lives, recognize their strengths, and appreciate diversity, acknowledging that it is good to have differences among us.
